Arrival to Addis

Monday, June 20, 2011

This arrival to Addis was so much different than our first arrival, and so much better!  We knew just where to go to get the visas, money exchanged, which line to stand in and all of that.  AND our driver and guide were there to meet us!  Bonus!  Our wonderful guide and friend whom we met on our last trip, Bizzy, greeted us by name and warmly hugged us immediately taking our bags and heading for the car.

Our first stop was to see Kate!  We headed straight to Toukoul orphanage.  We showed up without an appointment (there should have been one, but there wasn’t…don’t get me started on that…) and they graciously agreed to let us have a visit.  No problem!  We waited about 20 minutes which was no big deal.  I could see into an open window in her building and there was a nurse doing someones’ hair.  I could only see the very top of this child’s head, but I knew it was Kate.  The nurse lifted her up and I saw her face.  It was Kate!  In light brown and teal.  Could recognize her anywhere.  About 10 minutes later they brought out a baby.  But it wasn’t Kate.  I didn’t even hesitate or question myself; I knew that was not Kate!  They were puzzled but took the child away, and then talked amongst themselves, and then asked me again for Kate’s name.  I supplied that, along with her ID number and a reminder that we didn’t have an appointment so we weren’t on that list they kept poring over.  Okay, no problem, they said.    Soon enough, her nurse (I have a photo of she and Kate from our last trip which I was able to show to her) brought out Kate who was wearing light brown and teal, of course!  And her hair had just been done up!

Kate was a little reserved for about, oh, 45 seconds.  She warmed up to me first and then to Eric about 5 minutes later.  She’s just not used to men, but who can resist the charms of Eric Baesel?!?  Not this Daddy’s Girl!  We thoroughly enjoyed our visit noticing how much she’s grown.  She looks just about identical as the last time we saw her 3 months ago, only she now has a bit more hair, babbles a little, and is more active.  She likes to bounce in your lap and is a great crawler.  She barely walks when holding on to your hand, so I believe we’ll have a full-fledged walker very soon after we get home.  After playing and cuddling, we begrudgingly gave her back to a nurse about 2 hours later.

Next, we did some shopping for an outfit and blanket.  These will be used to exchange when we check Kate out tomorrow.  Essentially, Kate comes to us with nothing.  No possessions of any kind, not even a diaper, or the clothes on her back.  We are required to supply the outfit, the diaper, the shoes, the blanket – anything she leaves the orphanage with must be supplied by us.  And it stands to reason; they need those items for the next baby who comes in.  However, if you purchase a new outfit and blanket and shoes, they will let you take what she’s wearing and exchange it.  Basically, we take the used items and they get the new items.  That’s a fair trade to me considering that these will be special mementoes for Kate to have as she grows older.

We quickly checked in to our Guest Home and even got our same room as last time, so everything is very, very familiar!  Also, our friends, Sam and Christina Skinner are here as well (they live in MN and are adopting virtual twins.  Their daughter, Hayley, is from the same region as Kate.  They have a lot of connection points in their little lives that we’ve enjoyed discovering.  We met them on our first trip here and have remained friends through the process of waiting for this return trip.  And the Lord saw fit to have us come back at the exact same time, so we are very grateful about that!).    

The orphanage was gracious enough to let us come back for a second visit (again, unscheduled, because apparently there is no one scheduling for us, so we’re just working directly with the orphanage and it’s working out quite well) this afternoon.  Kate had already had her afternoon nap so was ready for more playing and cuddling.  And we did just that….lots of it!  During this visit, the office administrator came to us and said there was a problem; she needed our help.  Apparently, the parents of the child of the baby that was mistakenly brought to us this morning were here and they didn’t think that was their baby either.  They thought that our Kate was their baby.  And that’s because, get ready for this, the nurse mistakenly introduced them to Kate as their baby on their last 2 visits (they are here for their first trip).  They spent several hours with Kate, took hundreds of pictures and videos and sent them back home to loved ones and everything.  Gasp!  So you can imagine their chagrin when they come for their third and final visit and the child brought to them is not the same one they had been visiting with.  Double gasp!  We immediately took Kate with us to speak to them, at the request of the orphanage.  I guess they wanted us to prove that she was really our baby.  Cringe and double cringe.    The mother was now holding their correct baby (has the same African name as Kate and they live in the same room), the one they had tried to give to us earlier.  She turned and could not look at us.  I spoke with the father who was visibly shaken and heartbroken and he told me their story.  It was very, very awkward and we kept running into them around the grounds for the next hour only to have them turn away from us, but mostly from Kate.  We felt so terrible for this family who fell in love with Kate only to find out she wasn’t their baby.  We are thankful that God had orchestrated our arrival for this exact day so that it was discovered before they left for home, but oh my…terrible, terrible. 

We do feel like we’re bonding with Kate quite well and she already seemed familiar with us on this second visit.  She preferred to come to me over one of the nannies, so that’s good progress!  Our final thoughts on leaving her were that she seems super healthy (a rattle is in her chest, but no coughing or other symptoms…we see our pediatrician on Monday!), happy, and well adjusted.  We’ll know better about her skin and any diaper rash, lice or scabies (fun!) when we get her back to the hotel with us.  She’s been growing at the right rates and looks well nourished (from all that we can tell).  She laughs, she cries, she giggles, she does all normal 1 year old stuff. 

All in all, we are so thankful and relaxed….it’s been great!  But we are exhausted.  I couldn’t keep my eyes open through the afternoon and even took a nap before we visited Kate for a second time (that says a lot if I actually take a nap).  Eric is taking a pre-dinner nap now.  We head with the Skinners, and her mom Beth, to a traditional Ethiopian restaurant called Yod Abbysina (the ancient name for Ethiopia).  More injeera (their crepe like bread served with every meal) and some cultural singing and dancing.  Luckily I wasn’t pulled up out of the audience this time!

We’re VERY excited to sleep in an actual bed tonight!  Tomorrow morning is CHECK OUT for ‘Lil Miss Kate.  A big change in her life is here and we’ll all feel that full on when we take her outside that famous blue Toukoul gate to the world beyond.

Meeting Kate

March 15, 2011

Today was a big day.  We met Kate and she was…well, I’ll make you wait for that one…just like we had to!

We’re staying at Ethiopia Guest House, which has been lovely.  About what I anticipated when I wasn’t imagining freaky things like mosquitoes who are so large they “flap” and such things.  Haven’t seen ONE bug yet, inside or out!  It’s not as “jungle-y” here as I had imagined it would be.  Jamaica is more jungle-y than this.  Everyone staying at the hotel is adopting, either on Trip #1 for Court (that’s what we’re doing) or Trip #2 for picking up.  We’ve met some great folks and that has warmed our hearts!

The morning started with breakfast provided by the hotel.  The breakfast room is just inside the main door, next to the front desk, which is, um, a desk.  You know, like the kind of desk you have in your house.  That’s the front desk!  With the dining table next to that and a living area next to that…couch, love seat, 2 chairs.  It’s like being in someone’s living room, really. 

We were to call our adoption agency contact “sometime in the morning” and they would let us know our itinerary, basically when we could go and see Kate.  Yeah, that’s right.  Fly to Ethiopia with no itinerary.  We’ll let you know what to do when you get there.  Gulp.  I called the contact at 8:05 a.m.  He’s our attorney here representing us.  He didn’t seem to know who I was – our agency has about 10 families here this week staying at various hotels.  This wasn’t going so well.  He asked that I call him back in an hour.  I called him back at 9:00.  He sounded like he had forgotten our call an hour ago and asked that I call him in 10 minutes.  I gave him this last chance before I called back to the states with an SOS!  He called us back 5 minutes later and said that we could go over to the orphanage any time after 9:30.  It was 9:15.  I told Eric, “Let’s go!”  We asked the front desk to get us a driver and they said, “no problem!  About 10 minutes!”  Ahem, an hour later we were finally on our way.

Sidebar:  I’m typing this in my room and I think I just heard a donkey braying outside.  Yep, it was a donkey!

The drive gave us our first daylight glimpse of the city.  Well, really it’s a spread out collection of several story stucco buildings still being constructed with wooden sticks used as scaffolding, mixed with store front shops that are the size of a master bathroom, next to muddy streets filled with ramshackle homes.  People are everywhere, just walking.  Groups of people, walking together.  They look friendly and warm.  Men are walking with their arms around each other’s shoulders in large groups, like old friends, drinking cups of coffee in groups outside.  Women are busily talking as they walk.  There is energy and movement, but it seems random, without any direction or purpose.  Nonetheless, the people seem somehow interesting, and happy!  There are no stop signs and no stop lights.  None.  Well, in a ½ hour of driving we saw one stop light at a four way intersection, but it wasn’t working (oh, did I mention that the power went out last night and didn’t go back on until this afternoon – that’s why my hair looks a wreck, but I digress!).  There are no street names or signs with street names – like none.  Oh, I DID see one, on the street where the Parliament building and the President’s house are, a gated area with a house, much like our White House tucked in behind a well, a jungle-y kind of area.  That was the only street sign I saw and it was the size of the kind on your street.  About 7 feet tall and stuck on a corner.  Anyhow, the driving styles of the residents here resemble NYC at rush hour, so I wasn’t too bothered by that.

Typical Housing

We finally made it to Toukoul, Kate’s home since last September.  She was moved there when she became eligible for adoption from her birthplace of Bahir Dar.  She had been in an orphanage there since she was (presumed) 3 days old, having been found by a police officer on a street corner with no identifying information.  Toukoul is kind of like a “deluxe” orphanage where the lucky ones go while awaiting their forever families.  They move “up” to Toukoul when they become eligible.  I shudder to think what becomes of the unlucky ones.  We pulled up to the blue gate which I’ve seen in so many blogs of other adopting families these past months.  The driver honked and the security guard opened up – we drove through and parked.  I didn’t know it at the time, but I was freaking out.  Like the good kind of freaking out.  Looking back on this morning, I can now identify the exact same feelings I had being admitted to the hospital when Keira was born and when Carter & Connor were born.  This crazy anticipation, and worry, and fear, and joy – all mixed up and swirling inside.  I can see it on my flushed cheeks when I look at pictures from this morning.  

We entered a door under a sign that said, “Office.”  Seemed reasonable.  The woman inside didn’t speak English and rushed off to find some help.  Two women came immediately and asked how they could help us.  We said that we were here to meet our baby.  They looked confused.  Uh oh.  I clutched my bag.  They didn’t know we were coming.  Apparently we didn’t have an appointment.  What?  They asked our name and our daughter’s name and her ID number…yes, ID number.  Oh, um, let’s see, I wrote that down on the tag of the stuffed animal.  I blurted out the number.  God’s grace took over in that moment.  His grace is so sufficient.  If you know me well, you know that any one of these “mishaps” we’ve encountered thus far would be enough to put me over the edge.  Even with the compounding issues, I was calm.  The Lord’s grace was covering me and I was able to offer it out to them.  I was at peace, somehow, although shaking.  They told us to wait there.  We waited an eternity about 4 minutes.  They came back and asked us to follow them; we were going to meet her!  

We hastily followed them through the compound and into a room.  I just about ran in.  I knew about this room.  This was the room.  This was the room where you meet your baby.  Have I mentioned my heart has tugged for adoption since I was a teenager?  Immediately upon entering the room, I stopped short and uttered out loud, “Oh!”  I think Eric ran right into me, but I can hardly remember the moment.  There were about 10 other families there and they all stared – the room was silent.  I think I blurted out, “Hi!” or “Wow!” or something stupid.  It was apparent they had comfortably been there for a while.  Each was holding or playing with a baby, or two.  I was instantly awkward as I wasn’t sure what was happening next or who these people were and why I hadn’t arrived when they did.  The two ladies had left.  I wanted to work the room and meet everyone and find out their stories, but Kate was coming any second.  I couldn’t miss the moment.  We made quick conversation with the couple closest to the door who quickly shuffled and emptied 2 seats for us.  I think I said something and they said something, but I have no idea what!  Another lady squealed, “Oh, I think I see a baby coming!” 

We hopped to our feet, readied the cameras and THERE SHE WAS!  All in pink!  And all smiles.  She was held out to me by her nanny.  And I was all smiles.  And hugs and kisses.  Eric was just rolling tape, trying not to miss one iota knowing how important that would be for me later.  But he was totally grinning behind that viewfinder!  The room was staring, and rightly so, but I hated being stared at in that moment and did my best to block that out (I generally detest being “on stage” because my chances of being truly genuine, which is how I prefer to be, are usually whittled down to none).  I just enjoyed feeling her weight and kissing her cheeks and seeing her bright eyes and smiling right back at her very easy smiles!  What a precious gift we were just handed.  What a perfect gift for us. OK, OK, time to switch…now its Eric’s turn and I’ll hold the camera.  Most of the room occupants had started their own conversations back up again so the “pressure to perform” was waning and I could be a little more myself.  Phew!  She’s sitting up and crawling and starting to pull herself up…she turned 9 months old last week.  She appears to be very well nourished and healthy.  She was clean and her hair was all done up.  Oh, I should mention the fact that brought her out almost immediately.  This gave me great relief at the care she is receiving.  Usually when you come for an unscheduled visit, they have to “clean up” the baby with a bath and clean clothes because they are typically unkempt and dirty.  They brought her right out, dressed for a party with her hair done and everything!  That made me feel really good about Toukoul.

We had about 40 minutes with Kate. 

And it wasn’t enough…not nearly enough.  I had to hand her back.  It was lunch time, and I’m not in charge of that.  Not yet.

PS:  I know everyone wants to see a picture, but we CANNOT post anything on the web.  It could absolutely jeopardize the adoption proceedings and we’re not willing to risk that.  We CAN show you pictures in person and would love to do that as soon as we get back…videos, too!  On our 2^nd trip we will be able to post her picture as she will then legally be our daughter!

We’re Sorry for the Misconvenience!

March 14, 2011

After de-planing, we headed to the line to pay our $20.00 for a Visa to temporarily enter the country.  This took about 45 minutes or so and wasn’t a big deal, other than we were dog tired and ready for a place to sleep.  It was somewhat comical as the employees were doing everything by hand:  filling out paperwork, doing a receipt with carbon copies, filling out some other card.  Even the passport stamp was a handwritten sticker that they affixed to a page in our passports!  VERY authentic!  After customs and then baggage claim – all our bags were there…yeah - we passed by the currency exchange knowing that airport rates aren’t too favorable and that we’d have plenty of time the next day to convert our money to Birr.  So we departed from the secure area looking for the driver provided by the hotel, and….no driver!  We walked all around and saw lots of drivers holding names, but no driver!  We walked around some more and were starting to look like some really good targets by the strange groups of people just hanging around there at the airport, and…no driver!  We would have just taken a cab, except that we had no Birr and they only take cash!  Thankfully, Eric had enough juice on his cell phone for us to eek out 3 Skype calls to the hotel before they could finally understand us and re-send the driver.  Apparently he had been there two hours previously and felt that he didn’t need to wait anymore!  Certainly we were unsettled and miffed, but he was so cute when he came rushing up to us (we had now been waiting about an hour and 20 minutes for him at this point) out of breath and said, “we’re so sorry for the misconvenience!”  He was quite sincere and apologized the whole way home.  And it was lovely weather when we walked outside and the airport did look nice all lit up at night!

  

**I was humored when we got in the taxi/van and he had to start it Karate Kid style.  Remember that, when Ralph Macchio had to start his mom’s station wagon down a hill in neutral and then turn the ignition and pop it into gear to get the car started on his first date with Elizabeth Shue?  Yeah, I’m a child of the 70s…what can I say?

Looking for a harbor

It's the afternoon before we leave for Ethiopia and we haven't packed a thing. Laura's working in the office trying to stay on top of work stuff and I am in the bedroom reading news reports about the tragedy in Japan. A devastating earthquake and resulting deadly tsunami and the cars, houses, entire trains, buildings and lives washed away; it's almost too much to take in.

On the day we should be committed to readying ourselves for the trip ahead, the kids have been to two different birthday parties (after a birthday dinner for Keira last night), we had to get the last of the shots, clothes had to be returned to the store, and I mowed the lawn for the first time this season. 

It would be wrong to say that we aren't excited to make the trip to meet Kate. It's just that there is a lot of motion around us right now. From great to small, from the world swirling and shimmying to the scurrying pace of our little place on the block, there is a lot going on. It's like we're peering out from the pages of a Richard Scarry book.  I guess we both are waiting to sit down in 20 A & C and then know that we have 28 hours to put it all together.

What I mean to say is that we'll make a thousand sacrifices to find Kate. We'll brave the fearsome world and endure the wait to bring her home. But today I am trying to find calm in a storm.

-Eric