Meeting Kate

March 15, 2011

Today was a big day.  We met Kate and she was…well, I’ll make you wait for that one…just like we had to!

We’re staying at Ethiopia Guest House, which has been lovely.  About what I anticipated when I wasn’t imagining freaky things like mosquitoes who are so large they “flap” and such things.  Haven’t seen ONE bug yet, inside or out!  It’s not as “jungle-y” here as I had imagined it would be.  Jamaica is more jungle-y than this.  Everyone staying at the hotel is adopting, either on Trip #1 for Court (that’s what we’re doing) or Trip #2 for picking up.  We’ve met some great folks and that has warmed our hearts!

The morning started with breakfast provided by the hotel.  The breakfast room is just inside the main door, next to the front desk, which is, um, a desk.  You know, like the kind of desk you have in your house.  That’s the front desk!  With the dining table next to that and a living area next to that…couch, love seat, 2 chairs.  It’s like being in someone’s living room, really. 

We were to call our adoption agency contact “sometime in the morning” and they would let us know our itinerary, basically when we could go and see Kate.  Yeah, that’s right.  Fly to Ethiopia with no itinerary.  We’ll let you know what to do when you get there.  Gulp.  I called the contact at 8:05 a.m.  He’s our attorney here representing us.  He didn’t seem to know who I was – our agency has about 10 families here this week staying at various hotels.  This wasn’t going so well.  He asked that I call him back in an hour.  I called him back at 9:00.  He sounded like he had forgotten our call an hour ago and asked that I call him in 10 minutes.  I gave him this last chance before I called back to the states with an SOS!  He called us back 5 minutes later and said that we could go over to the orphanage any time after 9:30.  It was 9:15.  I told Eric, “Let’s go!”  We asked the front desk to get us a driver and they said, “no problem!  About 10 minutes!”  Ahem, an hour later we were finally on our way.

Sidebar:  I’m typing this in my room and I think I just heard a donkey braying outside.  Yep, it was a donkey!

The drive gave us our first daylight glimpse of the city.  Well, really it’s a spread out collection of several story stucco buildings still being constructed with wooden sticks used as scaffolding, mixed with store front shops that are the size of a master bathroom, next to muddy streets filled with ramshackle homes.  People are everywhere, just walking.  Groups of people, walking together.  They look friendly and warm.  Men are walking with their arms around each other’s shoulders in large groups, like old friends, drinking cups of coffee in groups outside.  Women are busily talking as they walk.  There is energy and movement, but it seems random, without any direction or purpose.  Nonetheless, the people seem somehow interesting, and happy!  There are no stop signs and no stop lights.  None.  Well, in a ½ hour of driving we saw one stop light at a four way intersection, but it wasn’t working (oh, did I mention that the power went out last night and didn’t go back on until this afternoon – that’s why my hair looks a wreck, but I digress!).  There are no street names or signs with street names – like none.  Oh, I DID see one, on the street where the Parliament building and the President’s house are, a gated area with a house, much like our White House tucked in behind a well, a jungle-y kind of area.  That was the only street sign I saw and it was the size of the kind on your street.  About 7 feet tall and stuck on a corner.  Anyhow, the driving styles of the residents here resemble NYC at rush hour, so I wasn’t too bothered by that.

Typical Housing

We finally made it to Toukoul, Kate’s home since last September.  She was moved there when she became eligible for adoption from her birthplace of Bahir Dar.  She had been in an orphanage there since she was (presumed) 3 days old, having been found by a police officer on a street corner with no identifying information.  Toukoul is kind of like a “deluxe” orphanage where the lucky ones go while awaiting their forever families.  They move “up” to Toukoul when they become eligible.  I shudder to think what becomes of the unlucky ones.  We pulled up to the blue gate which I’ve seen in so many blogs of other adopting families these past months.  The driver honked and the security guard opened up – we drove through and parked.  I didn’t know it at the time, but I was freaking out.  Like the good kind of freaking out.  Looking back on this morning, I can now identify the exact same feelings I had being admitted to the hospital when Keira was born and when Carter & Connor were born.  This crazy anticipation, and worry, and fear, and joy – all mixed up and swirling inside.  I can see it on my flushed cheeks when I look at pictures from this morning.  

We entered a door under a sign that said, “Office.”  Seemed reasonable.  The woman inside didn’t speak English and rushed off to find some help.  Two women came immediately and asked how they could help us.  We said that we were here to meet our baby.  They looked confused.  Uh oh.  I clutched my bag.  They didn’t know we were coming.  Apparently we didn’t have an appointment.  What?  They asked our name and our daughter’s name and her ID number…yes, ID number.  Oh, um, let’s see, I wrote that down on the tag of the stuffed animal.  I blurted out the number.  God’s grace took over in that moment.  His grace is so sufficient.  If you know me well, you know that any one of these “mishaps” we’ve encountered thus far would be enough to put me over the edge.  Even with the compounding issues, I was calm.  The Lord’s grace was covering me and I was able to offer it out to them.  I was at peace, somehow, although shaking.  They told us to wait there.  We waited an eternity about 4 minutes.  They came back and asked us to follow them; we were going to meet her!  

We hastily followed them through the compound and into a room.  I just about ran in.  I knew about this room.  This was the room.  This was the room where you meet your baby.  Have I mentioned my heart has tugged for adoption since I was a teenager?  Immediately upon entering the room, I stopped short and uttered out loud, “Oh!”  I think Eric ran right into me, but I can hardly remember the moment.  There were about 10 other families there and they all stared – the room was silent.  I think I blurted out, “Hi!” or “Wow!” or something stupid.  It was apparent they had comfortably been there for a while.  Each was holding or playing with a baby, or two.  I was instantly awkward as I wasn’t sure what was happening next or who these people were and why I hadn’t arrived when they did.  The two ladies had left.  I wanted to work the room and meet everyone and find out their stories, but Kate was coming any second.  I couldn’t miss the moment.  We made quick conversation with the couple closest to the door who quickly shuffled and emptied 2 seats for us.  I think I said something and they said something, but I have no idea what!  Another lady squealed, “Oh, I think I see a baby coming!” 

We hopped to our feet, readied the cameras and THERE SHE WAS!  All in pink!  And all smiles.  She was held out to me by her nanny.  And I was all smiles.  And hugs and kisses.  Eric was just rolling tape, trying not to miss one iota knowing how important that would be for me later.  But he was totally grinning behind that viewfinder!  The room was staring, and rightly so, but I hated being stared at in that moment and did my best to block that out (I generally detest being “on stage” because my chances of being truly genuine, which is how I prefer to be, are usually whittled down to none).  I just enjoyed feeling her weight and kissing her cheeks and seeing her bright eyes and smiling right back at her very easy smiles!  What a precious gift we were just handed.  What a perfect gift for us. OK, OK, time to switch…now its Eric’s turn and I’ll hold the camera.  Most of the room occupants had started their own conversations back up again so the “pressure to perform” was waning and I could be a little more myself.  Phew!  She’s sitting up and crawling and starting to pull herself up…she turned 9 months old last week.  She appears to be very well nourished and healthy.  She was clean and her hair was all done up.  Oh, I should mention the fact that brought her out almost immediately.  This gave me great relief at the care she is receiving.  Usually when you come for an unscheduled visit, they have to “clean up” the baby with a bath and clean clothes because they are typically unkempt and dirty.  They brought her right out, dressed for a party with her hair done and everything!  That made me feel really good about Toukoul.

We had about 40 minutes with Kate. 

And it wasn’t enough…not nearly enough.  I had to hand her back.  It was lunch time, and I’m not in charge of that.  Not yet.

PS:  I know everyone wants to see a picture, but we CANNOT post anything on the web.  It could absolutely jeopardize the adoption proceedings and we’re not willing to risk that.  We CAN show you pictures in person and would love to do that as soon as we get back…videos, too!  On our 2^nd trip we will be able to post her picture as she will then legally be our daughter!